DIY: Oil Change

[SVOboy]

Yeah, so here it is, I got bored...

Anyway, stuff:

Oil
Filter
Wrench
Filter Wrench
Oil Pan
Funnel
Stuff to Put Stuff On

Stuff:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00285.bda.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00285.bda.JPG)
Block up the back wheel so it doesn't roll:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00286.1dc.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00286.1dc.JPG)
Jack that ish up:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00287.f68.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00287.f68.JPG)
On the stuff:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00288.3c9.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00288.3c9.JPG)
Take off the oil cap before you drain the stuff:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00289.1ad.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00289.1ad.JPG)
Take off the bolt:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00290.425.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00290.425.JPG)
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00291.984.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00291.984.JPG)
It's draining:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00292.856.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00292.856.JPG)
Put it on:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00293.733.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00293.733.JPG)
****ty picture of the filter, use the wrench to take it off:
http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00294.f68.th.JPG (http://images5.theimagehosting.com/DSC00294.f68.JPG)

Put it all back like it was now...got to pissed to take pictures.

Ra ra ra.

[philmcneal]

very nice!!!

[SVOboy]

This was mainry for you, ra ra ra.

[Jack]

Great!!! You missed the part where you spill oil all over yourself. Well at least I do.

[SVOboy]

If you look at the picture with the oil draining you will see my hand is quite oiled, :p

[90CivicStandard]

Haha... it must be nice to be able to get your jack under your car that easily.

My car is so low that I have to drive up onto 2x4s and even then I can barely get the jack under there, and I have a low profile jack :(

**Edit**

Here's the difference between female and male oil changes:

Oil Change instructions for Women :


1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change $20.00
Coffee $1.00
Total $21.00
================================================== ========

Oil Change instructions for Men:


1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under! car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.
Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil ! is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required t o stop blood flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Accidentally crush remaining ! case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts $50.00
DUI $2500.00
Impound fee $75.00
Bail $1500.00
Beer $40.00
Total - - $4,165.00

But you know the job was done right!

[SVOboy]

I want my car that low but I'm too lazy to do the alignment, I have illuminas and skunk2 coilovers...:p

[Jack]

I want my car that low but I'm too lazy to do the alignment, I have illuminas and skunk2 coilovers...:p

I cant have my car that low I live 3 miles back a dirt road and would get it stuck.

[SupraRXZ]

remember also put some oil on the new fliter so it is easy to take off for the next time

[SVOboy]

But of course, :p

[JanGeo]

Actually I fill the filter with oil to get it flowing a quart sooner than starting empty.

[SVOboy]

If I filled it it would all come pouring out when I put it on, :p

[The Toecutter]

Want low?

Lower your ground clearance to 2.9".

[katman]

Where are the jack stands or car ramps? Bricks and wood are unsafe! One of your bricks is already broken!

[SVOboy]

The jack stands are collapsed over my dad's dead friend's body.

[Gary Palmer]

SVOboy: When you get the jack stands, get something sturdy and solid, not something cheap and light. In the meantime, Ken's right, cinder blocks are extremely hazardous to use. If they are have pressure on them, a bump in the right spot causes them to crumble, with no warning. We don't want no unnecessary funeral expenses!!

[DirtyOldTown]

I always put the oil cap on the hood latch before I get under the car to drain the oil. That way there is no chance of starting the engine with no oil in it (I've seen it done more than once). If you try to shut the hood with the cap there you'll likely break the cap, but you'll remember to put in the oil that you forgot. I started doing this years ago when a car was towed in with a blown up engine - a quick lube place sent them away without any oil. Most shops will fire you for doing that - breaking a cap they can deal with.

[Ted Hart]

DIY:oilchange...
"Take off the bolt." Bolt? BOLT??? A drain plug is called a "bolt"? In what country???
I'm just funning you.... But you forgot to mention removing the "710" cap.
Yes, there is a "710" cap on the rocker cover of most engines! Really! If you can't find it...move to the other side of the engine bay...and look again! See? "OIL" cap, but it's upside down now :D .... -TH

[tomauto]

I read the ''how men change oil'' a couple months ago when Matt posted it...I thought he was serious about it for a while...I almost felt bad for him. A week later I read it again.